plz talk dirty to me
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
