sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
