You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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