Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
