Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
my liver is dry heaving
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
