Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
