i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
