My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
