big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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