He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
