i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
