So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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