I can tuck mytits in my pants
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
