I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
