But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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