I bet he comes in French.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
