My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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