On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
