I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
