the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just want nice things and good sex
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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