pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just high enough for therapy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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