Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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