so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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