I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
