Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
