so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
ttyl tear gas
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
