Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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