chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
