I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
