I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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