I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
