i just had sex bonerless
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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