I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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