There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Randomize
