I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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