Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
