i think my tv is drunk
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
