I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
