Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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