Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
