Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
