so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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