ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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