all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Randomize
