she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
