There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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