coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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