my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
