Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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