he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
